Anya Discuss’s Matters Of Passion

“Is it true?” Maegan demanded looking up tearily from the bed as Anya closed the door.

“Is what true?” he friend replied.

“That you’re going to have a baby?”

“Yes” Anya nodded nervously, unsure how her friend would react “At least I think so”

Maegan paused, “It not fair” she suddenly decided, “Get out” she growled, flinging her pillow in her direction “I don’t want to see you”

“What did I do?”

“It’s not fair” she whined, seeming to lose her bluster as suddenly as it came.

Anya knew her friend was not really angry at her just angry at the situation, moving forward she took a seat on the bed next to her. “I let him do what he wants” Maegan protested “Sometimes twice a day, by your own admission the baron hardly visit’s you… I was supposed to be first!”

“I don’t think it matters so much how often” Anya replied gently, understanding at least in part why her friend was upset. “I can’t help that it happened”

“Well it should work that way” Maegan sobbed, “It’s not fair ….  And now … now he’s bored of me and trying to have babies she HER!”

“I don’t think he’s thinking about babies” Anya soothed, “I don’t think he’s thinking much at all”

“Then why?” Maegan sniffed “Aren’t I pretty enough, im royal blood why does he like her more than he likes me”

“I don’t know” Anya replied, “I can’t say I understand men any more than you do”

 “Oh but you do!” Maegan exclaimed, “At least your husband isn’t running around with some… ugh… I don’t even know what she is”

“I don’t promise to know exactly what she is” Anya decided, realising her friend probabally needed an explanation, for whatever she saw back at the house. She wasn’t sure exactly how she was going to explain to Maegan that which she barely understood herself. Vampires and Warewolf the idea still seemed quite insane.

“She’s a wanton whore!” Maegan suddenly announced, “How is it he likes her better?”

“I don’t think he does, he’s just thinking with his male parts as usual” Anya replied. “but about what else she is….  I think I need to explain”

“You don’t need to explain” Maegan sobbed, “She’s a whore, a giglet a dirty rotten harlot… a.. “

“Maegan!” she interrupted, “Please… your not helping”

“I don’t want to help!” she hissed, “I have done everything… everything expected of me and what have a got to show for it? A flat belly and a sow’s arse for a husband”

“Maegan!” Anya insisted again having never heard her friend use language like that before. “Please calm down”

“No I wont!” Maegan declared, “I hate him… I hate him.. I hate him… I wish I was dead!”

“No you don’t”

“Yes I do” Maegan replied finally losing the battle with her tears and bursting into them. “he like her better… she said I was ruined… she said I was supposed to like it and that he didn’t like it with me because I didn’t like it with him…. That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Your right I doesn’t” Anya agreed, not understanding what on earth it was supposed to mean  “what do you think she was talking about?”

“I don’t know” Maegan sniffed, “She said I wasn’t supposed to let him have me, I was supposed to want him too”

“You mean in the bedroom?” Anya asked, finally starting to understand what she was talking about.

 “Yes… she said it wasn’t enough I let him do what he wanted. She said something about I was supposed to push him onto the living room floor, but I don’t know what she meant”

Anya nodded, “Don’t you like it at all?” she asked, “when he’s with you”

“I don’t hate it” Maegan replied.

“Yes… but do you enjoy it?”

“Well… yes.. sort of … sometimes. It’s not frightful or anything”

“I think it’s supposed to be decidedly more enjoyable than frightful” Anya reasoned.

“Do you enjoy it?” Maegan asked almost accusingly.

Anya fell silent, she could not even begin to describe what she felt about the whole act. I mean she’d been shared that somehow made the whole thing feel dirty and wrong but at the same time Maegan wasn’t asking her about that.  “I guess so” she nodded.

“Did you ever feel like you wanted to push him to the floor’?” the young girl asked as though the concept was bizarre.

“There were times….. “She began finding herself going crimson at just the merest thought. “Where I felt that I couldn’t wait for him to come home to me”

“I get excited when Chris is due home from the estate” Maegan reasoned, “Some days I can hardly wait till he comes home so we can cuddle by the fire”

“I don’t think cuddling is what Chris wants you to be waiting for” Anya replied “Do you never feel like you can’t wait for bed time, just so he can undo your gown?”

Maegan’s face fell, “I don’t know … I … “

“Do you never feel like you’re about to burst, if he doesn’t kiss you right that instant?”

Maegan shook her head.

“I think where supposed to enjoy it just as much as the men… have you never… you know?”

“Know what?”

“Enjoyed it as much as him?” She replied feeling embarrassed. She knew what she wanted to say but judging by Maegan’s fact she clearly had no clue what she was talking about. “Oh…Megs.. have you never felt your whole body go tingly?”

“Why would I tingle?” Maegan whimpered.

Anya sighed now sure how to explain it. “Well you know when Chris…. When he you know? When he finishes”

“Yes..  when he gets all grunty and pulls funny faces?”  She replied.

“Yes I guess so” she nodded “The thing is I don’t think you’re supposed to notice that he’s pulling odd faces.  I’m pretty sure your supposed to be enjoying it far too much to care and maybe even pulling a few odd faces off your own.

 “I would NEVER!” Maegan gasped “He would laugh at me”

“Meg’s … it’s not your fault… maybe Chris just isn’t doing it right, or maybe you need to relax I don’t know but what I am sure of is that you’re supposed to want is as much as him sometimes”

“Do you feel ‘tingly’?” Maegan asked.

“Sometimes” Anya nodded, “And some days I want it even more than he does. When I do I don’t care what he thinks of me, I just let him know what I’m after”

“By pushing him to the floor?”

“Well.. I haven’t actually done that” She admitted chuckling while her cheek’s flared pink. “But I’m sure if the mood took me, I would let him have me on the rug”

“Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable?”

“That’s the point” Anya smiled, “I don’t think you’re supposed to care. It isn’t supposed to be planned and organised, sometimes it’s more fun when you just let your body to the thinking and not your brain”

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One response to “Anya Discuss’s Matters Of Passion

  1. Even if Maegan doesn’t get it yet (I’m remembering her convent education; Anya was raised by Nicole who had a very good head on her shoulders), I’m going to take this conversation as a sign of hope.

    She’s going to start thinking about … well, thinking with her body instead of her brain. Doing things because she wants to and not because she wants a baby or thinks she has to. A bit of a paradigm shift in her mind might help her to approach sexual relations differently.

    A talk with her mother would also help, I believe. It might well help a lot.

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