True to his word, Gabriel had come through for Abel and had as promised given him some money to help on Graymont. Abel was under no illusions that the money Gabriel had given him had in fact been the full amount his father intended, but it was a substantial amount and in the coming months that money would not only allow him to finish to repair’s to ‘Graymont house’ but also do some work around the estate.
His first thought had been to repair the church, but eventually he’d settled instead on completing and in many cases starting work on the estates housing. Making some of the lower class housing at least habitable.
With work underway and Abel’s life very busy he suddenly realised how much more at settled he was. This was partially due to the fact that there was so much to do on Graymont he no longer had time to feel sorry for himself or consider the if’s and buts’ of what and who he was, or was not.
But more than that after speaking with Dawn he’d realised that not all marriages where blissfully lustful. Not all husbands and wives could scarcely wait to blow the candle out at night and that perhaps it was acceptable not to feel the urge’s of other men.
He’d finally realised that for all his failing’s as a man, there were still many things he could do as well as the next, things he could even get satisfaction and enjoyment from.
Being a father for example, being a father did not depend on his ability to perform in the bedroom, well as long as you didn’t count the initial ‘performance’ . Being a father required little more than love, time and attention and to his own credit he found when it came to Sebastian he was more than capable of providing all three.
He was even feeling more settled with Persia, having suddenly begun to see her differently. Perhaps it was now that she was the mother of his child he’d found a connection.
Or perhaps more simply he’d realised that their relationship need not solely be forged in the bedroom. She was not the enemy as he had once thought and he was beginning to see how they might at least be friends.
He would even go as far to say the past few evenings together here in their new home had been pleasant. Even when she had come to sit with him, he’d found some enjoyment in having her curl up in his arms.
It was nice to feel wanted and he realised that even though he may never consider her romantically, having a woman to take care of and protect was its own rewards and perhaps a life together need not focus on what was lacking but instead focus on what they had and he believed he was beginning at least to gain an understanding and respect for the woman that was now his wife.
As for the other…. He could when needed perform in the bedchamber it wasn’t spectacular nor especially enjoyable on either of their part, but once he got going, It wasn’t even terribly unpleasant. He just needed not to think about it too much beforehand, because as with so many things the fear of the thing was often worse than the thing it’s self.
He knew Persia would never fully have the experience she perhaps deserved but it would suffice to provide more children and of course keep the gossip’s at bay.