Bailey had not barely dared come near her since the night in the stables after the coronation and even less so since the announcement of her engagement and impending marriage, but oh how sometimes she wished he would. She knew she ought to apologise but she never seemed to find the words and as the weeks dragging on and her wedding day loomed it seemed to get harder and harder to do.
Everything was such a mess, everyone in the house was constantly running around making plan’s and it was all Anya could do to stay out of the way and avoid another ‘wedding’ conversation. She’d even begun to avoid Maegan, because for as much as she loved her friend dearly, Maegan’s excitement at her wedding made her dizzy with the talk of dresses and baby’s and houses … and ugh … simply everything.
She was finding it increasingly difficult not to scream out in frustration at it all. Truth be told she simply wished the day would come so she could get it over with. Then perhaps people would damn well shut up about it and leave her alone.
Slippers on her feet she padded across the grass towards the flower garden, looking for somewhere to hide for a few hours. Even her room wasn’t sacred any more, with the constant comings and going maids packing and her father in and out ‘just checking in’. Anyone would think she was about to run away the way he fussed.
Everything was so muddled, she couldn’t honestly say how she felt about it, herself any more. Most likely because everyone kept telling her how she should feel, by now it was far too difficult to separate everyone else’s opinion from her own.
If she was pragmatic about it.. she supposed it could be said that she was no longer scared of marrying the Baron. He seemed nice and polite, he was good conversation and she enjoyed their time playing piano. However at the same time it could not be said that she looked forward to it either.
Obviously the wedding night was somewhat of a worry, especially now he’d confirmed that he did indeed plan to consummate straight away. They had talked about it briefly in what she’d found to be a incredibly embarrassing conversation, but he’d decided it would be for the best, it would stop people talking and assumptions being made about the both of them. She wasn’t entirely sure what he meant, she fathomed he seemed to think that the other nobles would be watching with interest and waiting would harm their position in political circles.
He had however also promised it wouldn’t hurt, actually he’d seemed almost as embarrassed as she was to be discussing it, but he’d said that because she wasn’t ‘intact’ and because he would be gentle that it would be strange more than uncomfortable.
In reality the conversation had been almost clinical and by the end of it the only thing she was absolutely sure of was that there marriage was to be a political arrangement and that he lusted after her no more than Christopher did… in fact in all their meetings, a fair few of which where unescorted, he had never once so much as attempted to even kiss her. Unless you counted the hand… and clearly you couldn’t, because most noblemen did that.
Now how exactly was she supposed to feel about that? Her soon to be husband didn’t seem in the slight bit excited about getting her to his bed.
In fact come to think of it, in all their conversations, while he’d always been the pinnacle of politeness and manners showing he a great deal of attention and interest, he’d rarely spoken about himself or infact given her any true insight into who he was. It was almost as if he was purposely trying to distance himself from her, which was odd because from what she’d witnessed with his staff he didn’t exactly seem to be an emotionally unavailable man.
Seeing the corner of the hedge row she sped up and into a run, if she could just get around behind it they wouldn’t be able to see her from the house and then she’d be alone, but as she came around the corner she came to a screeching halt. “What are you doing here?” she scowled, cursing herself as soon as she said it because she wasn’t truly angry.
“I’m sorry” Bailey replied, very apologetically standing from the bench“I was just waiting for Chase.. I’ll go”
“No i’m sorry” she blushed, thankful for the dim light “You can be here if you like”
“Thanks” he replied, sitting again“What are you doing here?”
“Nothing” she replied, taking a seat beside him, biting her lip while her stomach tied it’s self in knots. “Just getting out of the house for a while”
Bailey nodded “Yeah it’s bin abit mad in there of late… with preparations and all”
“Yeah… So.. erm”
“So hows it going? When do you get married?”
“A few days” she replied feeling ashamed her cheeks burning red.
“Oh…. so.. so you looking forward to it” he stammered, seeming to try really hard to seem happy for her, but if she didn’t know better she could even say he seemed quite distraught.
“Not really” she replied, allowing a long pause “I’m really sorry…. I mean that night in the stables… I should have been nicer too you..I should have told you about the Baron..” she explained in a jumble.
“It’s all right, I understand” he nodded genuinely.
“Friends?” he asked offering out his hand.
“Friends” she agreed shaking it. There was another long pause, she didn’t know who started it, but suddenly their lips met.