Christopher pulled back sharply ” Lady Hamdun” he said ” im not sure this is appropriate” he said nervously looked back towards the carriage.
They were in full sight of the driver now and he was concerned how it may look should anyone be looking.
“Don’t you want me?” she asked.
Christopher looked confused “Want you?” he asked.
“Yes” she replied “tears trickling down her cheeks her voice wavering ” you could have me you know, I’d let you”.
“Lady Hamdun” Christopher replied, quickly trying to regain his composure suddenly very aware of Jaedyn fragile state “Your upset, I can understand that, come ill take you home”.
“No” she said shaking him away “Don’t you want me?” she asked.
“Come on” he said again, trying to guide her towards the coach.
“No” she said again ” You said you find me attractive. Why don’t you want me?”
“It’s not that I don’t want you” Christopher replied trying to pick his words carefully “Your a very attractive woman, but your married and im not sure its the right thing to do”.
“My husband doesn’t want me” she sobbed “Do you know the last time I was actually wanted by him. When he actually saw beyond my ability to give him a noble heir”.
“No I don’t” Christopher admitted.
“I’m a person too you know, I have feelings, desires. Just once i’d like to be seen as a woman”
Christopher looked nervously towards the coach, ” I can understand that” he replied ” but perhaps its something you need to work on with your husband”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried. He doesn’t want me, all he wants is his peasant girl, i sacrificed everything for him… my daughter…” she sobbed her voice trailing as she realized she’s said to much “im more than just a instrument capable of baring children. I just want to feel desired, loved is that too much to asked??”
Christopher glanced around nervously ” No Milady it’s not” Not quite sure how to handle the noblewomans outburst. Would this be how Maegan would see him when they where married?? he wondered.
“There was a time I thought he loved me… but that was a long time ago “she said sadly” When we were first married, before his father started to pressure him about an heir”
“I’m sure he did” Christopher replied.
Jaedyn shook her head ” back then I thought he did, but he never got as worked up over me as he does over his peasant girl… he never looked at me the way he looks at her. I keep trying to convince myself that things will get better, I hang on every little thing he gives me. Convincing myself it will get better, that perhaps deep down he does love me. I realize now he doesn’t love me and things will never get better”.
Christopher placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder not quite sure what to say.
“Im sorry” she said finally ” I’ve been very foolish…. I shouldn’t have kissed you.. I really don’t know what i was thinking”.
“It’s ok” Christopher nodded “You where upset I understand that, You love your husband. We all do foolish things when where upset” he replied “Come on lets get back to the carriage.
Jaedyn nodded and finally allowed herself to be lead back, arriving at the door she turned to Christopher “Im sorry” she whispered ” I really do love him very much” Christopher nodded helping her in to the carriage then climbing in himself he settling down beside her. ” i just feel so helpless, my fathers sending his mistress away, and i know he’s going to hate me for it, life going to be hell until my father grants him the annulment”.
Christopher nodded ” can i ask what grounds he’s demanding the Annulment?”
“Because i haven’t given him a child” Jaedyn said sadly.
“Forgive me…. but you’ve had a child before haven’t you?” he asked. Jaedyn nodded nervously “So there’s nothing wrong with you?”
“Yes I have” Jaedyn admitted.
“Milady, perhaps its time to stop being the victim, your royalty perhaps you need to show him what that mean’s”.
“what do you mean?” Jaedyn asked.
“Well” Christopher smiled ” when you where a child did you ever get servants to run around after you just because you could?”
Jaedyn flushed ” sometimes”.
“Well forgive me for saying so your not as powerless in this whole situation as you think you are, your royalty at the end of the day your husband is mearly one of your fathers servants”.
“I don’t understand” Jaedyn replied shaking her head.
“Your husband has shown you great disrespect, and I think its time he was punished”. Christopher grinned.