Given Up

Holly sat in her room she’d seen very little of Valdamar in days she knew he’d received yet another letter from Avril. She was scared, even though she’d not been under any illusions, about the relationship she had with the Lord of the Beaumont Estate.  But she had dared to hope that she and Valdamar would find away of convincing the lady of the house the permit the wedding to go ahead. 

She sat at her desk studying, her finals where coming up and the last thing she needed was distraction, however with the situation the way it was with Valdemar she was finding it difficult to focus. As she studied there was a knock at the door “ Enter ” she called and the door slowly opened.  Valdemar peered around the door, Holly smiled and stood heading over to where Valdemar stood she tried to hug him but he pulled away holding her arms he shook his head “Holly I need to speak with you.” 

Holly breathed in deeply this was it she knew “You’ve give up haven’t you?” she said biting her lip. 

Valdemar looked at his feet “ Im sorry” he said “She’s never going to allow it.”   

Holly paused for a moment she’d been expecting this but all the same she needed a moment to steady herself, a couple of rogue tear’s trickled gently down her cheek.” So that’s it then your just going to give up?” she asked.  

Valdamar rested his hand on her shoulder “I’m sorry I don’t know what else to do”.  

“You could try being a man” she retorted.  

“Ive tried reasoning with her. You know that Holly, I’ve sent hundreds of letters she just wont change her mind”. 

“Well maybe its time to stop reasoning” Holly sobbed “You’re the lord of the house, your supposed to be in charge.  If you can’t even choose your own wife, how are you supposed to control the estate”.  

“Holly be fair” Valdemar responded.  

“No I wont be fair” she screamed “ Tell me why I should be?” 

“I doesn’t have to be the end” he reasoned “ We could still be together even if I can’t have you as my wife”.  

“Together … together how” she sobbed.  

“Well .. I could visit you.. Just because we wouldn’t be married doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love you, we could still be together”.  

“For how long? How long would it last… I leave here soon and I know your mother will arrange a marriage for you as soon as you return… So really I can’t see how we could still be together”.   

“Well … Im not sure. Couldn’t we just be together, even if I was married my heart would still belong to you” Valadmar explained.  

Holly looked stunned “You want me to be your mistress?” she said almost choking on the words.   

“No.. I mean.. Well why not… I’d still love you, we could still have children everything a married couple has, I’d take care of you I promise”.  

“So im suppose to sit on the sidelines and wait for you? Watch you each night go home to the bed of your wife, watch you have children with another woman?” she sobbed.  

“You make it sound terrible… it wouldn’t be I promise. I love you”. 

Holly shook her head “No I won’t do it… either I am yours fully or I am not yours at all”.  

“Please at least think about it” Valdmar begged. “ I swear I’d take care of you”.  

“Get out” Holly spat pushing him towards the door.  

“Please Holly” He begged. “ You’re being unreasonable”.  

Holly looked stunned anger welled up inside her pushing him out of the dorm room door.  “ I’m being unreasonable” she screamed “ You want to resign me to a life of shame, and yet Im the one being unreasonable … get out.” She said slapping him hard across the face “ Don’t you dare come near me again”.